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Hibernation

by Xavier Ghost Xavier

/
1.
I build upon my self again High I hear a vibration It sounds kinda wrong It sounds kinda right I Am A Frequency Frequently in your mind But I don't know why Welcome back here We've missed you very much here I haven't been sleeping much well since you left And I've been orating to my own self In hopes That you'll be the best I ever get And maybe you know a little more about life than I do Or maybe you don't I'll never know I've been looking out into the sky at night in hopes that I would find you in my lungs and in my ears But in my ears I hear only silence The silence is here The silence is here
2.
I've been sitting in the back of my mind Trying To decipher what I thought of Long ago How could I ever Know you? How could I ever lost my way? I tremble I walk I talk it out with my own walls No one else is here but me And I truly don't care anymore It's all I ever want anymore Time to breathe on my own Time to decide who I am What did I want out of life Now Gone Into the wind again I never have seen you here inside of my eyes And I always Want what I can never have et al Wait for your dreams to return Wait for me To find you here
3.
This isn't what I planned for This isn't what I've been building up every single day of my life What the fuck have I been doing with all of my time I don't even know anymore why I say the things I say inside of light The light feels like lies built upon lies And I just want to let go Let go Of every part of my mind As I slowly let go of you Where could I ever go into As I slowly fade away As I wander through Will I ever want you to answer What I am inside This ice will fray away Wash the ashes of the past Slowly collapse upon the tongue Of Which I said I'd never carry anymore But I've been carrying so very clearly the hidden messes of the sword What's gone inside This time I swore To someone I loved I swore that I would love you Forever forever more Forever forever more For where are you now? it is distorted in words they collapse upon my tongue And the air of my lungs is gone forevermore Forevermore Where I am now? I don't know I do not know Where I am Inside of this home is a part of the past that I swore would be gone
4.
I've been trying To write a thousand words That could hopefully mean something to you Something to you And I know at times The sounds in the sky don't really reflect who we are The rhythm in our heart It is gone again It doesn't really reflect who we are I've been trying to build a dream upon a part of my own mind doesn't feel like There isn't anything left to find here et al There's nothing left to find here et al If I could ever sell myself If I could ever build a dream That doesn't have you in the stars anymore I swear I would always dream I am bound by my legs on the solid ground from which I stand upon I will never leave this earth again There's no point in living in death or in life or any concept you conceive of inconceivably manipulate every one else Into falling in your eyes Into falling into your eyes Slowly we build out into the stars With nowhere to run from And nowhere to run to We are all bound too What you want to find inside of every part of our dream? Where are you at, Inside of yourself? Will it come back?
5.
Wait 02:36
I've been keepin' track of my mind at times Not sure if I could find you Anymore I've been looking for my worth inside of every word I swear to god I'd never say to you anymore But I hear every thing Reverberate inside of my mind As I look for the past life I swore I would give to you I told you I would change every sound of my life But at least I took advice and learned how to lie I do it the way I swore I'd do it from birth Out the womb I told you I would never try to be anything less than what I am worth What am I worth inside the world that only cares about the paper? Do you care that there is no part of my life in any paper? If you try to find the value in the dollar in my eyes Will I ever show to you That no matter what I say or do I always remain the same But I saying these things knowing that truthfully I am doing everything that someone who wants to sell themselves for everything Has to do I never want to feel the poverty upon my bones again I never want to look in the mirror and see what you see When you see a boy grown in depression Because that is not me
6.
There is a sound That follows my voice And frequently excelling at the things that we never knew before Never know what Is real or not Burning every sound of what a human is not If I could ever hold any part of what you said to me And never hold onto any part of me If I could let my trace of my soul Finally go If I could ever know anything about anybody else I would never open my eyes again If I could let you go I would never know I am awake Cheerfully And I wait for you I can never know enough I never know enough To hold you If I could ever find a way out of myself and never tell anyone else I swore I would never tell you or anybody else If I could find the echoes in the sky And never know where they go to Nowhere I go When I am looking to you
7.
There's one more opportunity to find myself To hear the sounds of myself But I don't ever want to be perfect anymore Or maybe I want to be more But not for you Not for me Not for any one or anything Or myself I suppose I don't know enough to know how I feel inside I suppose it's time to go away into the night again And find a part of my mind that never waits And I am lost inside of the stars And slowly vibrate the speakers now If I could trace the veins in my heart and let them out And put them inside a computer and let you know how deep I've been running cross the globe To invade myself I've been deepening myself in every vein upon this earth And where are you now? How could I show to you now Everything that I've done? Would you believe me if I told you That I am deeply involved Inside of life? Would you live Would you follow me Would you dance Would you cry trying to hold me I don't know I don't care I say these things so you can reflect in your own time Wave with your hands Wave with your hands for me Stare at the ground We both know We're there There's not much else There's no one else There's only you and me Even though I said goodbye I didn't mean it deep enough These aren't my emotions But lies
8.
There's a sound in the sound that never opens up the doorway The contagion in our heart doesn't beckon out into the night the same way it did before we born We been looking for the beginning since the time we grew older But do we listen To our fathers anymore than we swore we would before Do we even listen anymore Et al Al Are we just slaves to our own wash of chemicals rising through our veins? Will we ever know What we're doing In the words that we're saying? Will we ever find the pulse of someone else's heart Inside of our name? Will we ever know? We fall down Through the same sounds Of our pathways Of Our past ways Will we ever find another way around Of what we've been talking about This whole time We live our lives like there is nothing on the other side of our mind We've been crossing in and out of our time Just trying to find what is right and wrong in someone else's life We just want to teach me We never want to find out that there's nothing left to learn inside of so much time How do I stop living our lives same way twice Trying to find That everything is alright
9.
All I ever want to know Is what I feel I feel A chemical washing over my veins And Who am I? Who is real In an age of digital anarchy taking over? We're finding ourselves obsolete in the street and there's no room for us anymore Where are we supposed to go? I feel the air for what it is And air isn't air in the toxins in the sky If I stay here Will I be the only one in my life? If I ask questions that don't mean a single thing to anyone else except for the walls? Sometimes the words don't really mean much et al But my mind has slowed down to a point where I hear I can hear I use my eyes and my sight Try to find where I am inside someone else's life But I find the rhythm deep inside my soul Even though the darkness is on my tongue now You should see how I feel now Inside my lungs Are longing to be held down
10.
Live With 02:37
I open up a door Not meant for me Some part of you Telling me Never open up a door Not built for you I'm going through every door I've never been Nor have I ever known it was there et al And don't feel terrified like you told me I should always be If I am already In my direction down Then let it be so I will never know myself well enough To discern my worth from my hopes I always wanna find what I write inside of my life Has some sort of meaning Does this have a meaning to you? Anymore If I never make a mistake again Would you hear me for what I truly am in my heart If I am man just like you and just like your father before you What do you want from me? What do you want from me? I was never meant to owe you my life Nor anything inside of my hopes Or inside my fears et al Why do you think I owe more than what I am to someone who doesn't feel like they care enough for me For me why can’t you truly see that what I am is something different than the man you met long ago And I am letting go of my child hood And finally going the way I should The way I should

about

To awaken from years of hibernation, is all I pray for you.

Hibernation refers to the state of a living organism in which it enters a period of reduced activity and energy consumption, typically during the winter months. This can occur in a variety of animals, including bears, bats, and some species of reptiles and amphibians. During hibernation, the organism's metabolism slows down, allowing it to survive on stored fat reserves rather than needing to constantly search for food. Additionally, the body temperature may decrease to conserve energy. This state of hibernation can last for several months and allows the organism to survive harsh environmental conditions such as cold temperatures and limited food sources.

credits

released August 13, 2019

Jacob Xavier Harding - Vocals, Bass, Guitar, Electronics, Recording

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Smile Tribe Dayton, Ohio

Independent Artist Active Since 2011.

Hit me up, ask me questions, explore my life hidden within every sound.

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